this time around

i just saw an article titled "6 tips for you and baby number 2" and it sent my mind on a journey, back to when i was this pregnant with cora. i remember having so many mixed feelings then. i felt elated that our little family was expanding, anxious about how i would handle 2 little ones far from home and anything familiar, and guilty that i was giving bella a rival. 

looking back now, i know how ridiculous that last statement is. bella cried when she saw her sister for the first time, overwhelmed with joy, and said, "thank you so much for my baby sister!!!!!". but that doesn't diminish the fact that i was very nervous that they would hate each other. i thought for sure that bella would feel replaced and abandoned as we paid more attention to this crying bundle of snot and poop. 

i couldn't have been more wrong. 

bella felt like we had brought her home a perfect little gift. she rarely complained that sister cried too much and she always wanted to help in some way (even when her help wasn't exactly helpful). i can honestly say that, to this day, she is a huge help with her sister, even if it gets a little dicey here and there. and cora absolutely thinks bella is the greatest thing since sliced bread. and we all know how much cora loves food.....so that's saying a lot. 

this time around, i am not nearly as nervous. bella will be a whole 2 years older, and is already very excited. she spends the wind down time in the evening yelling at talking to baby brother, and gets very excited when we talk about what he will be like. 

cora is a nurturer by nature and loves to snuggle her babies, put them to bed, change their diapers, feed them.......she is a little mother. that could prove to be a little harder to manage, and hopefully it won't end up with her dragging the baby down the hallway by his neck. but i think she will adjust well too. she loves our friends babies and is amazingly gentle with them for a 19 month old. 

i have some fears-mostly, the irrational "how will i ever leave the house again" fear. i think i thought the same thing before cora came along, and we manage pretty well, so i imagine this time will be no different. travelling may become a bit more of a burden, but it is something we have always prioritized and that our children seem to get so much out of. we already have our last year of trips pretty much planned out, before we head back to the states, so hopefully little man will be a trooper like the girls are!